June is Men's Mental Health month. Here's my story.

For those who don't know, I'm Lawrence Page, the founder of MILA CNCPTS. I created this brand, as a tribute to my late mother Milagros Page aka "Mila". MILA is also an acronym, for movies, intelligence, love and art, as a representation of my late mother's support, in my creativity and the life lessons she's taught me.

Though, at the end of the day, as much as this is a brand, real emotions and life experiences are behind this. A lot of life changing events happened ever since her passing, along with the passing of my late father. Losing my mother in my early twenties, and losing my father just last year as a 31 year old, there's a lot of grief in realizing that my parents won't be here for any of my big life events, like my wedding, or me being a father. It's been a roller-coaster of emotions for the past 7 years. 

I've also experienced grieving fallouts with once close friends, family members, and someone I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. Loneliness has always been a fear of mine, ever since I was child. I'm sure it's carried into my adulthood because of some trauma I've experienced in my childhood. My fear of loneliness is not me needing to be around people constantly, it's more of having that solid group of people you know will always be there for you and vice versa. 

I feel like I no longer have that.

It's hard to envision a future when the people you thought would be in it, are no longer In your life. That's what I've been experiencing and that brought me down a dark path. 

I've had suicidal thoughts and moments of depression throughout my life, but none like what I experienced just last spring. I no longer had goals and no longer had a vision for my future. You can say I lost my purpose too. I molded my future around those who I thought would be in my life forever and now that they're no longer here, I felt like I had nothing to live for. It was the most confused I've ever been in my life. I hid it well from my friends and coworkers, but I was also just on autopilot, doing what I'm supposed to do, but not addressing my depression. 

I've done therapy before, and it's helped me greatly. I just haven't been able to schedule in sessions anymore but it's something I'm working on to have in my life again. I also still have hope in me and the belief in myself, that I do have the tools to feel better. I just have to put in the work. 

I still have a good amount of friends that care for me, that I can consider family, despite not having a family or parents of my own anymore. I'm grateful for the things that are working out in my life, and I'm just grateful for life in general.

A good friend of mine reintroduced spirituality into my life. I won't go all religious on y'all here, but I'll tell you, Christ saved my life. Whether you believe He is true or not, the lessons and the way He carried himself, I saw as the perfect blueprint to life for me. Following Him taught me humility, how to control my anger, and how to be a leader. Religion, doesn't have to be the answer for everybody. It can be a role model you look up to, that you can model your life after, or friends or family that can teach you those life lessons. Anything that teaches you to do good, be peaceful, without hurting others in the process, is the answer.

This is my life, these are my circumstances, I can't hide from them. There's beauty and peace in these moments also, you just have to keep searching within. This brand, my passion project, will continue to be my therapeutic, artistic outlet of expression. I know the more aligned I am with my heart, the closer I'll be to feeling better.

June is over tomorrow, but no matter the time of the year it is, check up on your male friends. We're often an afterthought when it comes to our emotions because we're raised to be tough and sometimes emotionless. We're human too, and as much as we try to be tough, we need to really allow ourselves to be weak too, in order to learn more about ourselves, and keep improving as people.

For those struggling with depression, definitely seek help. At the end of the day, life gets a bit easier when we're not bottling up these thoughts, and gets even easier when you have the support to tackle on a struggle like depression .

Believe in miracles y'all,

L.P